


The Kittenwalk

by ProseApothecary



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProseApothecary/pseuds/ProseApothecary
Summary: Patrick and Stevie have the (huge) honour of diving into David's sweater archives.





	The Kittenwalk

Patrick is not sure how he or Stevie allowed this situation to occur but he is going to blame the copious amounts of alcohol involved. He’s pretty sure having two personal models for his curated outfits is 5-year-old-David’s ultimate dream, but 30-something-year-old David seems to be enjoying himself too. 

He's enjoying himself a little too much right now.

“Ok, so you can’t pull off the badass look. That leather jacket is just making you look like a policeman.”  
“But like, an antihero cop, who bends the rules to catch murderers, right?”  
“No, like, a traffic cop, at best. Maybe a park ranger.”

“My turn!” says Stevie, "I’m gonna be the new Stevie Nicks.”  
She tries on the jacket, whose sleeves dangle about 10 centimetres below her arm. It matches the jeans she's wearing which are pooling on the floor.  
David makes a face.  
“Both of you need to be taller.”  
“I draw the line at heels.” says Stevie.  
“Seconded.” adds Patrick.  
“Do I look like I let other people’s feet touch my shoes? I’ll just have to find my most hobbit-friendly items.”

When David returns to the living room, he’s struggling under the weight of a sweater black hole.  
Stevie tries on one at the top of a pile. She’s a little too drunk to navigate David’s fashion and it takes her about 6 minutes to get it on.  
“David. Why do you need a sweater with cut-outs? Do your shoulders get hot?”  
David, however, is distracted by Patrick, who has tried on David’s fluffy, fluffy, black and white striped sweater.  
“This isn’t made of cat hair, is it?” asks Patrick dubiously.  
Stevie doesn’t blame him. He certainly looks very kitten-like.  
“How do you both make high fashion look like an outfit you’d wear to see your grandma?”  
“David, do you own a year’s worth of clothing?” Patrick asks inquisitively, “because I swear I’ve never seen you wear anything more than once.”  
“Thank you”.  
“Oh, I remember this one,” says Patrick, changing into a black sweater with a heart scrawled on it. It’s just baggy enough to look snug.  
David’s expression has very quickly gone from frustration to fondness.  
“Ok, that one suits you.”

Stevie definitely has to get out of here before there’s some soppy explosion of feelings. 

“Well, that’s my cue to leave. Can I borrow the sequinned coat though? My 5-year-old cousin is in a production of Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat and I think she’s really gonna love it.”  
“Sure,” says David absent-mindedly.  
Patrick suppresses a laugh.  
“Goodnight Stevie.”  
David doesn’t respond. He’s grown so doe-eyed that at this point he’s practically Bambi.  
“You two are gross. Have fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> It kinda bothers me that Stevie stores David's clothes on condition that she can wear them whenever she wants and then never wears them. This is my attempt to right that wrong because the people (me) want to see Stevie in a mohair sweater that's four sizes too big.


End file.
